Should a Woman Ask a Man for a Date?

Jacque Reid, as a reporter for the Tom Joyner Morning Show, interviewed a “matchmaker” who issued a challenge to all single ladies to ask out 10 men by Jan. 1. He said it will increase a woman’s changes of dating and getting into a relationship. He added that 50 percent of the men that a woman asks out will say yes.

I am sure this “matchmaker” can list some long term relationships that resulted from this practice but I can assure you that those relationships will be the exception and not the rule.

The average man already knows the type of woman he is looking for. Ladies, if a man does not summon the courage to walk across the room and ask you for a date, trust me, you are NOT what he was looking for! He is not going to risk the pain of rejection if he does not see you as a prize worth the risk.

Now, if you go over and ask him out, will he go out on dates and have sex with you? Yes! However, he will only do that until the one or the type of woman he is actually looking for comes along. You will get yourself caught up in the "something better game". That is where a man will sleep with you until something better comes along. He will take advantage of the fact that you are trying to be his wife and keep you as a starter in his game until you reach the “play-offs”. That is where the man tries you play you off so that he can be with someone else.

Ladies, if a man is having sex with you and he is not talking about marriage constantly or making plans to get married, he is only interested in having sex. That is it! The truth is MOST men are only interested in marrying a woman that is hard to get.

Here is another truth. Since a man already knows what he is looking for, he will know within a 3-5 month period whether or not you are the one he wants to marry. Therefore, he knows very early what category or file that he will place you in his life: family, friend or freak.

If the man has not begun talking about marriage within 3-5 months, you are NOT in the family file. If you are having sex with him, you are not in the friend file. That means you are in the freak file. The farthest you will go in this relationship is from sex dish to discarded; from sex to angry baby daddy. That's it!

A woman who pursues men, in a man’s mind, is either easy or desperate. The average man does not get involved with either of those types thinking of her as a keeper (keep-her). A man will date and have sex with her but marriage is more than likely out of the question.

Any guy who tries to convince any woman otherwise is telling lies. On the other hand, he may be sincere but he is sincerely wrong. One thing is certain though, the type of guy who would try to convince a woman that throwing herself at a man is wise is not a man but rather a man-sized boy. A man-sized boy will take an aggressive woman for a toss in the hay but then he will toss her away.

Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. However, if you operate in my advice as a general rule, you are less likely to be hurt trying to get love from a big boy who is only interested in sex.

Why are Men not in a Hurry to get married?

While there are many more, the following are the 4 MAIN reasons why men are not in a hurry to get married: 1) they already receive all the benefits of marriage; 2) fear of the unknown and a lack of knowledge; 3) they are playing the “something better” game; and 4) women are not demanding a commitment.

First, men are not in a hurry to get married because they already receive the benefits of marriage. Too many women perform the duties of a wife for men they are not married to. Men receive sex along with cooking, cleaning, laundry and other services without having to make a marriage commitment.

Second, when it comes to marriage, men have a fear of the unknown and high anxiety due to a lack of knowledge. In today’s society wherein there is an overwhelming level of broken families and an underwhelming lack of father figures for boys as they grow into men, men are fearful over whether or not they will have a marriage that works. They also know, whether or not they will admit it and despite how well their mother’s claim they prepared them, that they don’t really have the knowledge a man needs to build and maintain a successful family.

Third, SOME men are dating a woman whom they refuse to marry in opposition to discussions initiated by the woman because she is not the woman he wants to marry. Although he likes the sex and enjoys the wifely benefits, he is playing the “something better” game. That is, he will remain with her until the type of woman wants comes along or the specific woman that he really wants is ready to be with him.

Fourth, men do not have to rush into marriage because women today do not demand a commitment. There are a plethora of reasons why women are reluctant to demand a commitment which I will address in a separate article. However, some don’t want the man to feel pressured, some want to be sure that they are truly loved by ensuring the marriage proposal is completely his idea and some women are themselves fearful of the unknown and have anxiety due to a lack of knowledge. Since many women do not appear ready to get married, men are not likely to propose a wedding.

Women who really want to marry must set a deadline for action. If they have already been together for a year or more, the woman should set a date certain for the man to propose. By that date the man must have made the proposal and planned a short wedding date. Otherwise, the woman must take her losses and move on. Life is short. Any time we spend with someone is time from our lives that once past we will never get back. Therefore, we should not waste our life with someone that does not really love us or place a high value on our life.

Dr Will is the author of “Relationships 911: Surviving Love’s Emergencies” http://www.drwill911.com

AVOIDING CHAOS IN RELATIONSHIPS

The second law of Thermodynamics is entropy: the tendency of all things to descend into chaos. Relationships left unattended or not given the proper attention tend to experience entropy or descend into chaos.

If an apple is left on a counter and not used the way it was designed to be used, it will rot. Rotting is a form of entropy. When an apple is allowed to sit on a counter and rot, not only will the apple be damaged, it will also damage the area of the counter where it was sitting. The rotted apple must be cleaned up and the damaged counter will have to be repaired.

If a man leaves his wife unattended, does not give her proper attention or properly utilize her mind, gifts, talents and abilities their marriage will experience entropy. If a woman does not give her husband proper attention, their relationship will descend into disorder or chaos. Not only will this create mental and/or emotional damage but some other man or woman will have to clean up the mess that was made.

Unfortunately, the person who takes on the responsibility of cleaning up another man or woman’s mess will be subject to the law of excruciation. This law requires that whenever a thing creates damage or an imbalance in the earth, that thing or a like thing must experience pain or suffer the consequences of repairing the damage or restoring balance. The law of excruciation requires one person to experience pain or suffer consequences due to the actions of another.

The law of excruciation is the reason Jesus had to suffer the painful death of crucifixion. If Jesus had to die for our sins, why couldn’t He just die peacefully in His sleep? Why did He suffer so painfully? The reason Jesus had to experience that pain was to suffer the consequences for the mess that Adam made. Women experience painful menstruation even today because they are still suffering the consequences of the mess that Eve made.

Thus, the man or woman who opts to enter into a relationship with someone who just left a messy relationship will often have to suffer pain as a result of what another person either did or did not do. If he or she starts to get involved but it becomes too painful to finish, that relationship will end in chaos.

Relationships can also experience chaos when a spouse or partner is not used the way they were designed by GOD to be utilized. Each person was given life to complete a specific mission or fulfill a unique purpose. We each were given inherent knowledge, gifts, talents and/or abilities to assist us in completing that mission or fulfilling that purpose. Our life, gifts, etc were given to assist our spouse in fulfilling their purpose as well.

Before we enter into a long term or marital relationship we must already be aware of our own mission or purpose and have already identified our associated knowledge, gift, talent or ability. We must know if the mission or purpose the person we intend to become involved with will complement ours. If two people have divergent missions, they will embark upon different courses and eventually go in separate directions. The word divorce is comprised of the words “divided course”. A couple on a divided course will naturally split apart. Relationships enter chaos when couples are no longer “going together”.

Finally, avoiding chaos in relationships requires us to have knowledge about the GOD ordained purpose of men or women as a gender. Men were designed by GOD to lead whereas women were designed by GOD to help, to be a help meet or to help men meet their obligations to GOD. Most women have an inherent desire to help men which, for example, is why so many allow men who don’t work to live with them. Men have to understand that it is in a woman’s nature to want to help. Brothers, you must let your wife or woman help by properly utilizing her mind, gifts, talents and abilities. If you don’t, the relationship will enter chaos. Women must understand that men have an inherent desire to lead. Ladies, while you may be able to do everything better than your man, you must allow him to lead. If not, the relationship will descend into chaos. When a man can’t lead you he won’t love you.

The Bible says “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” Relationships are destroyed for the same reason. Those who want to keep their relationships out of chaos must get the knowledge they need to keep them together in proper order.

Dr Will is the author of "Relationships 911: Surviving Love's Emergencies" http://www.drwill911.com/

NICE GUYS FINISH 2ND BUT END UP BEING 1ST

The NY Times* reported that field biologists studying baboons have found there can be a big downside to being No. 1, an alpha male or the primate equivalent to the bad boy.

Laurence R. Gesquiere, a research associate at Princeton, and colleagues report in the journal Science that in five troops of wild baboons in Kenya studied over nine years, alpha males showed very high stress levels. The stress was the result of the demands of fighting off challengers and guarding access to fertile females.

Beta males, the nice guys, fought less and had considerably less mate guarding to do, had much lower stress levels. They had fewer mating opportunities than the alphas (or bad boys), but they did get some mating in. After all, when the alpha male gets in another baboon bar fight, who’s going to get to take the girl home?

The alpha male or bad boy experiences higher levels of stress than the beta or nice guy male and there’s a cost because of the effects stress hormones have on one’s health. Researchers collected fecal samples to measure levels of glucocorticoids or stress hormones which showed that alpha males experienced higher levels of stress constantly.

Stress hormones are good in the short term because they work to energize the individual in threatening situations. In the long term, stress hormones cause you to fall apart physically and make one subject to diseases. Thus, alpha or bad boy baboons do not stay at the top very long.

The same is true for men. Since the bad boys are constantly dealing with some sort of conflict they are consistently carrying high levels of stress hormones. If the conflicts they have with other men doesn’t get them killed, they will get locked up or simply code out. That will make more women available for the beta or nice guy to choose from. While he might naturally finish second to the bad boy the beta will eventually end up first.

The best place for a beta to find a fine woman is while she is standing in line outside of the county jail waiting to visit her bad boy. After she finds out that her tough guy has turned into a prison hair braider, she will be ready to choose a beta boy over the bad boy.

Dr Will is the author of Relationships 911: Surviving Love's Emergencies http://www.drwill911.com/

*James Gorman, “Baboon Study Shows Benefits for Nice Guys, Who Finish 2^nd”, http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/15/science/15baboon.html (July 14, 2011)

Is Same-Sex Marriage a Hazard to Women’s Health?

On June 24, 2011 New York Governor Andrew Cuomo signed a bill that allows same-sex marriage. Since every decision carries unintended consequences what impact will this bill have on the health of New York State’s female population?

If government reports that AIDS is spreading rapidly among straight women (due to the down low theory) and that AIDS is increasingly killing more and more women annually, how could they then legally support gay marriage if it could mean more women might die? I believe what the government reports about AIDS and it being spread by gay sexual activity is a lie. It is time that we asked the right questions and found out the truth.

According to the Kaiser Family Foundation State Health Facts, 2010, New York currently has the highest number of blacks living with AIDS than any other state and more people living with AIDS than 36 other states combined.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDCP) report, HIV among African Americans (http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/aa/),

reveals HIV is the ninth leading cause of death for blacks in America and the third leading cause of death for both black men and women aged 35–44. The rate of new HIV infection for black women is nearly 15 times higher than white women and nearly 4 times that of Hispanic women. Black men are HIV infected at a rate 6 times greater than white men, nearly 3 times that of Hispanic men and twice that of black women.

Most black women whom I interviewed strongly believe that HIV infection among black women is directly attributable to “the down low” or same-sex activity between black men. If that is true, and governmental extension of a “right” to engage in gay sex makes it more prevalent, what will be the long term impact of same-sex marriage on the health of black women?

The World Health Organization asserts that HIV is the result of gay sex activity, that HIV leads to AIDS and AIDS leads to death. It agrees with the CDCP that black women are HIV infected at greater rates than other races. If those assertions are true, is same-sex marriage a threat to the lives of New York’s black female population? If same-sex marriage is indeed a threat to the lives of black women, has Governor Cuomo unwittingly granted a right to one group that could lead to the death of others?

I believe that what the World Health Organization, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, et al are spreading information that they know is neither true nor can be proven. There are Nobel Prize winning doctors, biologists, chemists and even mathematicians who have been saying for decades that AIDS is NOT what we are being told it is. For a more in depth report on this topic entitled AIDS: Pandemic or Biological Assault please follow the link below.

http://www/drwill911.com/aids.html

Rearing Boys is a Man’s Responsibility

In preparation for Father’s Day, I posted the following on Facebook: “Happy Daddy’s Day to all the REAL Dad’s... any man who provides the seed to create a child can be a “father”... but it takes a real man to be a daddy... a daddy is there for a child day in and day out and will be there to the end through thick and thin whether he provided the seed to create that child or not.... to those men who provided the seed and just walked away, this Sunday is Shame On You Day!”

A woman responded with this: “To the men who provided the seed and walked away, I have compassion for you. I cannot judge your heart or know why you walked…”

Ladies, a woman has NO right to show compassion for a man who makes the decision to walk away from another woman’s children!

A man has no right to walk away from his children under any circumstances short of a court order to stay away. No matter how crazy or hard to get along with the mother may be it is the father's responsibility to overcome that obstacle and do what is necessary to properly raise his children.

“But if any man provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel (1 Timothy 5:8).”

GOD is saying that a man who does not take care of his children is worse than a heathen. It appears that GOD takes this man’s failure to take care of his children as a PERSONAL affront to HIM which is sin. 1 Timothy 5:20-21 says “Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear. I charge thee before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, and the elect angels, that thou observe these things without preferring one before another, doing nothing by partiality.”

EVERY man regardless of the situation or circumstances who fails to actively involve himself in raising his children MUST be rebuked and NOT given compassion or an excuse so they can “feel” good or “be encouraged” while they are being disobedient to GOD and a disservice to their community. If a man does not raise his children, the community will have to PAY the consequence of his absence!

When a man does not take responsibility for raising his children another man MUST judge him.

“Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life? If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church. I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren (1 Corinthians 6:2-5)?”

That nonsense that WE are NOT supposed to judge one another is NOT according to the word of GOD! We must judge one another with the intent to correct wrong behavior but not with the intent to punish or condemn each other.

It is a man’s responsibility to judge the improper actions of a boy otherwise he will never learn to be a man and he won’t be fit to marry another man’s daughter. This is one of the MAIN things that women must understand when raising male children. A failure to understand how to properly raise male children is the reason why we see so many weak, irresponsible, nonproductive effeminate boys in the black community.

When a man is dealing with the improper actions of a boy, a woman MUST NOT to step in and try to relieve that boy from the pain of correction that he must receive. If a man is telling him that he is dead wrong, a woman cannot come along and try to soothe his pain by saying “I have compassion for you. I cannot judge your heart…” No ma’am! He needs no compassion and he must be judged. A man’s words and actions reveal the content of his heart. It is a man’s job, therefore, to teach a boy plainly that his actions reveals the content of his heart and to teach him the impact his actions will have on the community at-large.

Google ANY study on fatherlessness and you will find that it, more than any other anomaly, produces death, crime, poverty and a lack of productivity in a community.

A study by the Institute on Assests and Social Policy at Brandeis University reveals children born outside of marriage have life stacked against them and are more likely to experience:

• Retarded cognitive (especially verbal) development;
• Lower educational achievement;
• Lower job attainment;
• Increased behavior and emotional problems;
• Lower impulse control; and
• Reduced social development.

These children are far more likely to:

• Engage in early sexual activity;
• Have children out of wedlock;
• Be on welfare as adults; and
• Engage in criminal activity.

The absence of married parents is related to slower development in early childhood. A study of black infants (aged 5 to 6 months) living in poorer households found that male infants who experienced "minimal interaction with their fathers" had significantly lower levels of overall mental development and lower social responsiveness.

Children without fathers:

-   tend to have lower cognitive development

-   have problems in controlling activity (ADHD).

-   exhibit problems in learning

-   more likely to have emotional and behavioral problems during childhood. These problems include:

● Antisocial behavior: disobedience in school, cheating and lying; bullying and cruelty to others; breaking things deliberately; failure to feel sorry alter misbehaving;

● Hyperactive behavior: difficulty concentrating or paying attention; becoming easily confused; acting without thinking; being restless or overactive;

● Headstrong behavior: easily losing one's temper; being stubborn, irritable, disobedient at home; arguing excessively;

● Peer conflict: having trouble getting along with others, being not liked, being withdrawn;

● Dependent behavior: crying too much, being too dependent on others, demanding attention, clinging to adults.

Boys raised by never-married mothers have significantly higher levels of these behavior problems than girls. Boys:

-   have less ability to delay gratification

-   poorer impulse control over anger and sexual activity

-   have a weaker sense of conscience or sense of right and wrong

-   educational attainment was cut by one-tenth of a year for each year spent as a child in a single-parent home

-   have lower job and salary attainment

Boys that are educated and healthy are the primary predictor of future productivity and protection for a community. Without their productivity it perpetuates poverty and permits a climate of predatory activity against women and children in a community. Boys that are educated and healthy will have had their father or men in the family and community leading and guiding them into productivity. This is NOT to suggest that his mother or the women did not play a role. But while a boy can be led by his mother to stay out of trouble, finish school and find a good job, without a strong male presence in his life, he will never be whole. He will always know internally that he is missing something that he should have received paternally. http://www.drwill911.com/

Who R you and Where R you Going?

A person’s true destiny never conflicts with who they are in their inner being. We cannot come into the knowledge of our destiny until we know our true identity. The reason the average person has difficulty determining their identity is due to unresolved conflict in their inner being. Internal conflict or disagreement within their own selves (body, mind and spirit) prevents people from discovering their true identity.

Internal conflict often arises as a result of personal trauma, pain or abuse that occurred early in our lives. Some of us cannot see who we really are because we were told by those who were close or important to us that we were bad, no good or just like our worthless daddy during our formative years. Others cannot come into the knowledge of our true identity because we were physically or sexually abused. The physical abuse creates persistent confusion internally over why we weren’t loved by those who were supposed to love us.

Physically abused children often become adults who struggle to find their identity because in trying to find who they are they attempt to disassociate themselves with that child who was abused. Then there are those who were sexually abused that also try to separate themselves from the tiny personality that experienced the trauma and pain of being abused sexually. Sexually abused children often become adults who hide the internal shame they feel because of the pleasure they experienced in the course of being abused. They know old uncle Charlie wasn’t supposed to touch them that way. They are angry that he did that to them but at the same time they feel shame because it felt good.  Conflict and confusion as to why it felt good cause young boys who were abused by a man speculate that they must be gay. Conflict and confusion over the pleasure makes some young women feel perverse. They sometimes conclude that something must be wrong with them or that their only personal value is associated with their bodies.

Pain is what we experience when an event is occurring. Suffering is what we experience long after the painful event has passed as we continue to relive the event over and over in our minds. Suffering causes internal conflict. The suffering must cease and that internal conflict must be resolved in order for a person to discover who they really are and where they are destined to go.

We have to reconcile with the suffering to cause it to end. There has to be forgiveness for the perpetrator for what they did and we have to forgive ourselves of the blame and shame that we place on ourselves as a result of it. There has to be an internal atonement (at-one-ment) with GOD for the sin consciousness, guilt or shame that we continue to carry. It has to be cast aside and we must get free of that mental space where we kept ourselves captive so that we can move on; go and grow. No one, not even GOD, can do this for us. We have to do it ourselves. Then we can stop doing the things we used to do, saying the things we said (particularly about ourselves) and thinking the things we thought. If we want to know who GOD intended us to be or our true identity, our mind, actions and words must become one. The key to resolving internal conflict lies in making what we do, say and think agree. Our mind, body and spirit must agree that whatever happened is just something that happened to us, it is NOT who we are!

The things that we do, say and think emerge from the core of our being and reveal the essence of who we really are. Those three are analogous to the body, spirit and mind respectively. The conflicts of life arrive when what we do, say and think do not agree or when our body, spirit and mind (which are separate entities like the Trinity; three but One) are in conflict constantly. Jesus said “How can two walk together except they agree?” We cannot have peace or harmony in the world or reach our GOD ordained destiny when our entities, that is, our selves or our mind, body and spirit, are in constant conflict. Thus our lives will be perpetually stormy and we will continually experience lack and poverty even in the midst of great prosperity.

Internal conflict causes us to act contrary to the will of GOD for our lives (aka sin) and thereby leads us away from our destiny. Reconciling this conflict is in actuality what Hebrews 10:25 “forsake not the assembly of ourSELVES together” was attempting to teach us before someone interpreted it as a command to “go” to church. That verse, when kept in context with the chapter, is teaching us to refrain from sin. Refraining from sin will prepare us to discover our identity and fulfill our destiny. The key to refraining from sin is resolving the conflict between mind, body and spirit within. Our mind, body and spirit are actually separate “selves” within us that each have their own wants and desires which attempt to make their own decisions. Thus the exhortation from GOD was to “assemble ourSELVES”;  to bring the mind, body and spirit (our inner “selves”) into harmony internally and in harmony with HIS word. This is affirmed by Romans 12:1-2.

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” 

Neither Hebrews 10:25 nor Romans 12:1-2 is something that GOD is going to do for us. We must do them on our own. “And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth HIMSELF, even as he [My note: Jesus] is pure (1 John 3:3).”

It is imperative that we complete or fulfill the purpose that GOD sent us here to accomplish. That is the only way that we will hear “Well done thy good and faithful servant; enter ye into the joy of the Lord.” Therefore, it is critical that we not forsake the assembly of ourselves together. Our mind, body and spirit must agree or come into harmonic accord in order to find out our true identity and discover our GOD ordained destiny. Assembling our mind, body and spirit in unity will put our hearts in symphonic tune with the earth and the universe. Being in tune with the earth and universe gives us the ability to hear the melodic voice of GOD clearly, helps us to discover our true identity and gives GOD the authority to lead us into our destiny.

Those who don’t know who they really are and where they are going in life will have difficulty maintaining long lasting relationships. When we don’t know who we are there will always be people who will try to make us into what they want us to be. If we don’t know our true destiny there will always be people who will try to lead us to go with them or follow their vision. It will be difficult to continue to go along and get along with those people once we realize they were taking advantage of our uncertainty of who we are and where we should be. Ultimately, if we remain uncertain of our identity or destiny we will encounter other people who will also take advantage of us in some way. The cycle will continue until we come into the knowledge of who we are and where we are destined by GOD to be. Once we understand who we R it will be easy to determine where we R going.

 http://www.drwill911.com/

ARE BLACK WOMEN LESS ATTRACTIVE THAN OTHER WOMEN?

Psychology Today Magazine published an article entitled: Why Are AA Women Physically Less Attractive than Other Women? The conclusion it proposes is that Black women have higher levels of testosterone than other women.

First, there is nothing more physically attractive or beautiful on the planet than a Black woman. The Black woman is a living breathing work of art. Along with the 7 wonders of the world she is an example of GOD’s mastery of artistry.

However, let's assume the Psychology Today hypothesis has SOME merit. Every effective lie must contain SOME truth otherwise no one would ever believe it. I think we should critically examine that hypothesis in conjunction with this question: Is the Black woman's proclamation of being "strong" and "independent",  which are traditionally "male" characteristics, and their general aggressiveness toward Black males the result of a higher level of testosterone?

Something is driving an inordinate number of Black women to take the strong independent stance as compared to White and Hispanic women.  Every human, animal and vegetable adjusts and adapts to the stressors placed on it by its environment and develops defenses to help them survive in that environment. Is it possible that since Black women have had to assume traditional male roles of providing for and protecting their families it has forced them to adapt to that stress by becoming more aggressive? Is it possible that adapting to the stress of being more aggressive has resulted in an increase in testosterone?

Every woman has testosterone in her body for a reason. GOD placed it there to help her adapt to situations of physical stress but it is designed to subside once the stressor is removed. Since Black women are constantly subjected to physical stressors daily in today’s society that were only experienced by men in previous generations could it be that their testosterone levels are raised constantly?

We already know scientifically that there is a direct correlation between poverty and obesity. In addition to the improper diets and lack of exercise associated with poverty, the stress of poverty can activate cortisol which is a hormone that, among other things, causes fat to accumulate around the belly. We know that the body’s hormones levels rise and fall depending on the stressors placed on it. So is it too farfetched to believe that women who are nearly forced to experience stresses traditionally experienced by men would not have their testosterone levels become elevated just like men in the same situations?

Elevated levels of testosterone over long periods of time lead to high blood pressure and heart disease, which at one time, was the leading cause of death in men. Now heart attack is increasingly becoming the number one cause of death among women next to cancer. While it is absurd that Black women are less attractive physically than other women the theory concerning elevated testosterone making them less attractive to men psychologically has SOME merit.

I wish there was a simple way to explain the psychological attraction rejection process. That process is regulated by our olfactory senses on a subconscious level that lead us to be attracted to or repulsed by another person’s presence. Hormones in a micro mist are excreted through our breath and skin that are picked up through the nose of a person we are near which lead that person to either become attracted to or repulsed by us.

Straight men are repulsed by high levels of testosterone excreted by women. This explains why most REAL men are turned off by aggressive women. Real men are highly attracted to high levels of estrogen in women. When men sense a high level of testosterone or aggression in a woman they believe that they will have a problem dealing with her over time. It will be like having to deal with another dude. Two dudes make dodo so there will always be some $hit.

Therefore, black women are, in my opinion, more attractive physically than other women but the stressors of their environment have caused them to have to have elevated testosterone and lower estrogen. Consequently, Black women are perceived on the sensory level to be less attractive psychologically. Right or wrong, fair or unfair, this is the state of affairs we are living with. Thus, the state of relationships between Black men and women are at a tragic low. This state will never change until MEN assume their proper roles and take the responsibility and stress off women for having to provide for and protect their families. http://www.drwill911.com/

WHAT IS THE “REAL” PRICE OF SEX?

This is another blog that was prompted by responses I received from some people on Facebook concerning a statement I made “A man that does not read cannot lead.” The feminists popped back with their usual rhetoric questioning WHY is it the man’s role to lead the woman.

I often wonder what the obsession with people on Facebook is in trying to make every issue apply to both genders. Life outside of FB does not work that way. GOD made women and men different for a reason. There is a reason men and women are called the “opposite” sex.

Here's a Muppet News Flash: Men and women are NOT the same. They were built and designed by GOD to be different and to perform different roles in the family. Perhaps the zeal to BE the SAME as men is the problem liberated women are having with maintaining relationships with men.

Of course men, in modern times, have issues in relationships with women that are a direct result of a lack of knowledge due largely to not having a father in their formative years. However, women got suckered by the feminist movement into the desire to be LIKE men. In the process it has had a powerfully negative effect on the nation's families in general and the black community's in particular.

GOD instituted the Women's Movement that was designed to bring HIS daughters out of oppression; to give them equal pay for equal work and so on. Its mantra was "We want to be treated EQUALLY with men." In the midst of GOD’s movement, the devil influenced other women to institute the Women's Liberation Movement. The Liberation Movement was designed to FREE women to do anything that a man could do. Its mantra was "We want to be treated LIKE men". Being treated like a woman according to the feminists was "degrading". This is the reason some women didn’t want men to open doors for them, help them with their coat, etc. These women were following feminist ideals that were in reality designed by the devil. Consequently, women began doing everything LIKE men from chain smoking, excessive drinking and drugging to having uncommitted sex and so on.

The man’s role in the sight of GOD is to protect the woman but the adversary found a way to “liberate” women and move them and their children away from the protection of men. Now, 1 in every 4 girls are raped or molested before age 18. GOD said in 1 Peter 3:7 that a man should "treat" (re: protect) the woman AS (or like she is) the weaker vessel. GOD did not say the woman IS a weaker vessel. HE said the man has a duty to protect the woman as IF she is a weaker vessel. Why, because the devil has been out to destroy the woman from the beginning.

When GOD told the devil (in Genesis 3:15) that HE was going to put "enmity" (intense ill will) between him and the woman and that the "seed of the woman would bruise his head", he has been afraid of women. Fear makes one desire to destroy their enemies. Thus, the devil has been trying to destroy all women ever since. He knows that the child of a woman is going to bruise his head but he doesn't know which woman. Therefore, he has been trying to destroy all women and their children.

Since the Liberation Movement, the devil has enjoyed great success in destroying women and children through the destruction of the family. The devil effectively eliminated the protection that GOD provided for women and children: the man. He crafted a cleaver way to chase men out of the home and it has left women and children to defend themselves alone. Since the feminist movement the incidence of rape, murder and abuse of women has been unparalleled in comparison to any other time in history. The same is true for child molestation, rape and murder.

The enemy cleverly maneuvered women into a catch-22 position that makes them feel dammed if they do or dammed if they don’t. The same vessel that GOD designed to protect women, the enemy found a way to effectively use them as instruments to help him destroy women. The thing that some women don't know and refuse to accept when it is presented to them is how they helped the enemy in turning the men against them.

The average woman does not understand the nature of a boy which is why a boy must have a man, that is, his own daddy, in authority over his life. Boys, young men and adult sized males bitter and angry over being raised by a mother who was sexually promiscuous and who exposed them to many men that they couldn’t protect her from have grown to devalue women.  The average man who consistently abuses women has a problem with his mother.

The abusive man's mom often spent too much time taking care of or being with a man or men that he did not like. Little boys who encounter strange men know, even at age 1 or 2, they are vulnerable. Many little boys will try to defend their mom from attack by a man up to around age 5 or until they learn fear. Once they learn fear they will sit in a corner and cry as she is being attacked. But those tears mean that the boy is angry that she put him in a position where he could do nothing to protect her. There is nothing worse that can happen in a male’s development into manhood than to make him feel powerless as a boy.

The devil utilizes this anger that adult sized males have against their mommies to influence them to abuse other women who remind them of their moms. They will “pretend” to dote on or have a good relationship with their mother because they know it is considered taboo in society to not like or love one’s mother. However, they secretly hate her. A man who really loves his mother could never hurt another woman. It is hard for real men to look at another woman and not be reminded of his mother, sisters or daughters in some way. If a man hurts women outside of his family, it means he secretly wants to do the same thing to women inside his family.

Were there problems between men and women, mothers and sons, prior to the feminist movement? Yes, but those issues would also arise out of broken or abusive families. These problems never occurred to the degree that we have seen in modern times because we didn’t have broken or abusive families to the degree we have seen since the feminist movement.

Now, to provide evidence of why the blame can be laid at the feet of the feminist movement I direct you to look at the condition of the two groups of women who are still staunchly following that movement: black women and poor white women.

Rich and wealthy women abandoned the feminist movement a long time ago because they realized that following its ideals leads to divorce and drives their children into poverty. Black women and poor white women are the ones still following the movement therefore THEY are the ones who have the highest rates of children born out of wedlock, the highest rates of children in poverty, the lowest rates of marriage, the highest rates of divorce, the highest rates of co-habitation, the highest rates of co-habitation break-ups and so on. Even when they are just living with a man, they can’t seem to stay with a man. Why?

Well, one reason is because men don’t have their act together in terms of having the knowledge on how to be a man and to provide for as well as lead a family. However, it is primarily when times get tough in the process of building a relationship, that women allow the “ideals” of the feminist movement to guide their decisions in dealing with that man. They buy into mantras like “I can do bad by myself” which often leads their relationships to dissolve.

Women fell into the trap of the feminist movement and they have been falling in value in the eyes of the men who are supposed to love and protect them ever since. Women have been giving their bodies away like cheap Kleenex yet they expect a man to place a high value on what they got for free. Since women have become “like men” the devil has been utilizing the same tools to destroy them that he used to destroy men: power, money and sex.

Every scandal that brought men of notoriety to their knees publically, from Bill Clinton and Elliott Spitzer to Bernie Madoff, usually involved power, money and sex to some degree. Now that women are 52% of the American population, 54% of registered voters and 53% of the workforce they have the power to elect a female president anytime they get ready and it also means women control nearly half of the money in the American economy. Since women decide who they will or won’t have sex with they are in control of all of the sex. Women have the power, money and sex. However, the devil uses those strengths, as weapons, to destroy them. The sad thing is women don’t seem to have a clue that this is happening to them. Most women know that they have the power, money and sex advantage over men but seem to be clueless as to why they can’t build a happy family.  

Women! You have been subtly trained and conditioned by the enemy to not listen to a man. However, I am not your enemy. My job is to do as GOD instructed which is to protect you. The only way I can do that from a distance is to supply you with knowledge that you can use to repair your relationships with men so that you can have a man to do what GOD designed him to do. If you reject this knowledge you do so to your own peril. GOD said in Hosea 4:6 “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge…”

“…because you have rejected knowledge, I will also reject you… I will also reject your children.”

Since women have largely been rejecting knowledge from men (believe me, I really understand why you have been doing it), GOD has been rejecting women and their children. Both men and women have to repent so that we can stop the escalating violence against women and children.

Men! You are not off the hook in this because you have rejected knowledge too. My books and CDs contain ALL the knowledge you need to be the king and priest of your home. They will teach you all you need to know, from the Word of GOD, about how to live your life, love your wife and raise your children. It is the TRUTH, not the nonsense preachers have been teaching. However, because you too have rejected knowledge GOD said in that same Hosea 4:6 verse “…you shall be no priest to me seeing that you have forgotten the Law of your GOD.” Men have a duty to get the knowledge they need from GOD on how to properly raise a family. I have labored in the face of GOD to collect this knowledge for you and organized it in a book so that you won’t have to dig it all out yourself.

Please understand that I am just trying to sell books. I am doing the work of GOD and fulfilling the mission that GOD placed on my life.

To accept this knowledge, which will improve as well as protect your life, all you have to do is go to my website http://www.drill911.com/ and you will find Relationships 911: Surviving Love's Emergencies. You can download it to your phone, kindle, ipod, ipad, computer or other ereader device.

Does a woman making more money make more problems?

Posts by members of my Face Book group page Relationships 911 inspired me to post this blog.

When expressing their views about men’s abilities and deficiencies, women must adjust their rhetoric to recognize the difference between a man and a man-sized boy.

The real men in every community work every day. Their job may be in an area that most women would not consider the professional class, such as a janitor or garbage man, but they go to work every day. Contrary to popular belief anyone that does anything that they get paid for on a regular basis is a professional. Every man who goes to work and gets paid for his work is a professional. At times when real men are unemployed, they make their job finding a job. They leave home at 8AM and don’t return until 5PM. Real men know how to be responsible financially because they have learned to be response able.

Man-sized boys on the other hand are adult in physical size but mentally and emotionally have not grown past the age of 12 or 13. Thus, they have a penchant for playing kid’s video games and doing other kid like things. These big boys have learned the art of manipulating women from spending too much time with mama. The common characteristics of a man-sized boy are: charming, funny, cute and know how to make a woman feel that she is needed.

Most women who commonly complain about men tend to consistently pick one of these big boys over a real man to have a relationship with. They continue to pick one adult-sized adolescent after another until they get tired of taking care of an over grown kid. Then they begin to look for a man that is going to be a man.

As a result of the abuse that they had to deal with from the man-sized boys, these women tend to mistreat or abuse a real man when she finds one. Ultimately, he walks away because he is too much of a man to allow a woman to treat him like a boy. She becomes even more jaded where men are concerned because the bad men in her life have to be kicked out and the good men just walk out.

A man-sized boy always has a dream of being famous and he wants his woman to taken care of and cater to him until he “makes it”. Once she grows weary of carrying all of the financial responsibility and asks him to kick in or get kicked out that is when he lashes out. Then, she will have to call the police to have them put him out. Man-sized boys bounce from woman to woman and back home to mama in between women. These NINJAs (No Income No Job or Assets) sneak out at night wearing all black looking to find some woman who is willing to take care of them. But he often leaves them with more babies than they had before him.

The man-sized boy can handle a woman having more money as long as she is giving him all that he wants. A real man does not have a problem with a woman having more money when he is secure in his manhood. Men who are not mature or secure will complicate a relationship when his woman makes more money that he does. The difference in success or failure of a relationship where the woman earns more money has to do with the man.

The national divorce rate is 53%. Women have been told over and over through movies, magazines, TV, and radio shows that if they make more money than their husband it will lead to divorce. According to a study by Jay Teachman, a sociologist at Western Washington University, published in the October 2010 issue of the Journal of Family Issues, A married couple is only 38% percent more likely to divorce when the wife earns more than the husband. The rate of divorce was only higher when the woman was bringing in 60% or more of the household income. Statistically, this disproves the commonly held belief that ALL marriages in which the wife earns more are more likely to end in divorce. The rate of divorce in this category is only 38% compared to the overall rate of 53%. To be clear, this really has nothing to do with the money that a woman makes as it is more often about the pride in the man’s heart. It’s the man, not the money, that makes the difference.

Some guys can totally handle their wife making more money and having greater celebrity than they do. On the other hand, some guys (because of their pride) must have a woman to make them FEEL good. At the same time, they keep women they are with felling bad. They need to lord over or feel like they are above her in every way in order to feel good about themselves.

Again, sometimes it is not the money it’s the man. A real man that is secure in his manhood can handle being in a relationship with Oprah Winfrey, Whitney Houston or Halle Berry. Bobby Brown’s biggest problem is he couldn’t handle Whitney having greater success than he. Bobby could not handle being Mr. Houston. But, let me be Mr. Winfrey! Give me half a chance to be Mr. Houston or Mr. Berry! Oprah would not just be the richest black woman in America she would end up being the richest person in the world. Whitney would actually hit those high notes again. Halle would own Hollywood.

Some men just know how to maximize another person’s potential. Like football coaches they can motivate a person to perform beyond their own vision of themselves. We see a lot of Halley’s external beauty, for example, but the right “coach” can help her to radiate her inner beauty, creativity, and leadership ability. Halley is at the point of her career where she should begin to consider owning her own studio. The right life partner could help her get there.

On the other hand, many men just don’t know what to do to make their wife’s creativity and productivity come through. I believe the single major factor that causes the majority of marriages to end is a lack of knowledge. The biggest problem men have that don’t know is, we don’t want anybody to know that we don’t know. If a man is having difficulty handling a woman who makes more money it is simply because no one ever taught him how to do it. It’s not the money it’s the man that makes the difference.

Please click the link below to purchase my new book. It is also available to download to your phone, kindle, ipad, ipod computer or any other ereader device.

http://www.drwill911.com/