Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Should a Woman Ask a Man for a Date?

Jacque Reid, as a reporter for the Tom Joyner Morning Show, interviewed a “matchmaker” who issued a challenge to all single ladies to ask out 10 men by Jan. 1. He said it will increase a woman’s changes of dating and getting into a relationship. He added that 50 percent of the men that a woman asks out will say yes.

I am sure this “matchmaker” can list some long term relationships that resulted from this practice but I can assure you that those relationships will be the exception and not the rule.

The average man already knows the type of woman he is looking for. Ladies, if a man does not summon the courage to walk across the room and ask you for a date, trust me, you are NOT what he was looking for! He is not going to risk the pain of rejection if he does not see you as a prize worth the risk.

Now, if you go over and ask him out, will he go out on dates and have sex with you? Yes! However, he will only do that until the one or the type of woman he is actually looking for comes along. You will get yourself caught up in the "something better game". That is where a man will sleep with you until something better comes along. He will take advantage of the fact that you are trying to be his wife and keep you as a starter in his game until you reach the “play-offs”. That is where the man tries you play you off so that he can be with someone else.

Ladies, if a man is having sex with you and he is not talking about marriage constantly or making plans to get married, he is only interested in having sex. That is it! The truth is MOST men are only interested in marrying a woman that is hard to get.

Here is another truth. Since a man already knows what he is looking for, he will know within a 3-5 month period whether or not you are the one he wants to marry. Therefore, he knows very early what category or file that he will place you in his life: family, friend or freak.

If the man has not begun talking about marriage within 3-5 months, you are NOT in the family file. If you are having sex with him, you are not in the friend file. That means you are in the freak file. The farthest you will go in this relationship is from sex dish to discarded; from sex to angry baby daddy. That's it!

A woman who pursues men, in a man’s mind, is either easy or desperate. The average man does not get involved with either of those types thinking of her as a keeper (keep-her). A man will date and have sex with her but marriage is more than likely out of the question.

Any guy who tries to convince any woman otherwise is telling lies. On the other hand, he may be sincere but he is sincerely wrong. One thing is certain though, the type of guy who would try to convince a woman that throwing herself at a man is wise is not a man but rather a man-sized boy. A man-sized boy will take an aggressive woman for a toss in the hay but then he will toss her away.

Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. However, if you operate in my advice as a general rule, you are less likely to be hurt trying to get love from a big boy who is only interested in sex.