Wednesday, January 12, 2011


I'm becoming increasingly concerned at the term "strong woman" and how it is being largely used by women who have been hurt and are now obstinate, belligerent, combative, and vindictive as a result.

A real man NEVER has to say "I'm a man". Boys unsure of their manhood are the ones who feel they have to convince others that they are a man. There is no mistaking a real man. Everyone recognizes him when they see him.

Strong women NEVER have to say "I'm a strong woman". Everyone recognizes strength in a woman when they see her. Feminine strength is usually accompanied by grace, elegance and beauty.

A woman is like a rose. She has petals that are beautiful, delicate, soft and sweet. But a rose also has a thick stem with thorns. The stem represents the toughness she must have in order to stand against the challenges the world forces her to face. The thorns serve to protect her from men that try to pick her up quickly who don't know how to handle her properly.

Women who have been seriously hurt are the ones who proclaim to be strong. Their petals have fallen off and all they appear to have left are the thick stem and thorns. Tyler Perry said in the movie: Why Did I Get Married II, "It is hard to love a good woman who has had a bad man." It becomes difficult for good men, real men, to love the "strong woman" because she has been hurt. She puts up a "strong" thorny shield to prevent that hurt from happening again. She tries to move on from time to time and find love with other men. However, she is hurting and hurting people tend to hurt other people. Therefore, many hurting women become a "player", opt to do to others what have been done to them, and either consciously or subconsciously attempt to push their pain on to the next man.

GOD loves to protect his daughters so HE will make sure that she crosses paths with a good man, a real man, but the pain she is carrying will cause her to reject or mistreat him.

The only people that can be truly loved are those who are truly loveable. Carrying hurt and pain can make a woman who was once strong in spirit as well as elegant and lovely very ugly. It takes real strength for a woman to retain her internal beauty after she has been hurt emotionally.

A woman who has been hurt must forget the hurt and forgive those men who caused the pain. Otherwise, her lack of forgiveness and holding on to the pain will allow those guys to keep her in captivity. She must therefore forget the hurt, begin to live and and allow herself to be truly loved.

Now, here is the frustrating part that nobody has told her.

All of the men she picked who turned out to be 0's were part of life's tests to see if she was ready for the 1. Each time she selected a 0 it meant that she was not ready the 1. Each time a woman selects a 0 she, in reality, failed one of life's little tests. And each time one fails a life test they have to take a retest. 

This is the "real" reason the average woman in this situation has been dealing with one 0 after another. So there is nothing wrong with her or her life as she may have come to believe. She simply lacked knowledge. No one ever told her that each time a woman feels that she is ready to receive the 1, she must first get past another 0. And she will have to continue getting past the test of 0's until she passes or proves that she is ready for the 1.

Once she has learned to recognize and reject the 0's, GOD will see that she receives the 1.

She will then no longer have to pretend to be strong as a means of protecting herself from the hurt. The love living inside of her that she freely shares with another will cleans her from the affects of hurt and strengthen her in mind, body and spirit.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


The chief struggle that couples have to endure in marriage is with change. Getting married is a one day event whereas becoming married is a process that takes three to five years to complete depending on a couple’s willingness to change. The longer it takes to change from being single the longer it will take to convert to being married.

Getting married is easy. Anybody can get married but not everybody can become married because they are unwilling to change. Whenever we go before an altar it implies change because the word altar means: to change. Couples who fuss or argue through the process of becoming married are said to be “going through changes”.

Couples who get married must go through 7 tough processes in order to be married and remain married. Those processes are:

Change – couples that want to become married must be willing to change their minds and ways from being single to being married.

Sacrifice – a married person must eliminate their connection to many of the people, places, activities, and things associated with their single life in order to make a successful transition into married life.

Service – married couples must be willing to serve one another. Proper service requires communication because you must know what to do, how to do it, and when to do it in order to serve your spouse.

Exposure – a married person cannot hide their personal secrets. To be married you must reveal what you are hiding because your spouse is going to eventually find out.

Pressure – a married person can no longer think like a single person; only of their self. One’s thoughts must only be concerned with the care and comfort of their spouse.

Endurance – the pressure of the change process will prepare you to prosper. A piece of coal has to endure pressure in order to become a diamond. Enduring the pressure of change causes a couple to become one which will make you more valuable than two.

Fulfillment – after a couple makes the transition from getting married into being married, they can begin to pursue purpose or to fulfill the mission that GOD put them together to complete.

Becoming married is simply a series of changes. Remaining married is tough because tribulation always precedes elevation. Couples must endure the tribulations of change so they can become married, arise in life, and prosper as one.


Most people view marriage as an agreement to love, honor, and cherish another for the rest of their lives. However, that is only one side of the equation. Marriage is also a business arrangement wherein a couple becomes a corporation. All of your business affairs will be incorporated together. When either one of you want to purchase or liquidate the major assets of your corporation, you will need the cooperation of your spouse.

Every viable business must have a vision, mission and a budget plan detailing how the business will acquire and disburse its funds. The principal owners of the business must have a vision, established the mission, and developed their budget plan before forming the corporation. However, most couples spend too much time planning their wedding rather than planning their marriage or business operation. Therefore, they either never develop the plan before hand or try to formulate it after uncoordinated spending has created a crisis. Bad financial management is the leading cause of divorce in America. It would be wise, then, for couples planning to spend their lives together to plan how to manage their money before they get married.

The two main financial rewards of marriage are division of labor and economy of scale. Single people have to do all the domestic labor and pay all the bills alone. Married couples can split the chores and the bills. Now the housework only takes half the time and it costs half as much to live because two can live cheaper than one. The money and time saved can be invested or used to make more money.

The extra money and extra time can also be used to open an actual business. Each person was born with inherent knowledge, gifts, talent, and ability that if mined and marketed properly, someone would pay you for handsomely. Your spouse can be your passport to financial success if you understand how to market and manage their assets.

Individuals can get rich but strong committed partners working together can create wealth. Family is the organization that was designed by GOD for wealth generation. Every family can be wealthy. You can get my CD “Money DOES Grow on Trees” to see how this works. It will work for those who put it to work.