Sunday, October 30, 2011

Why are Men not in a Hurry to get married?

While there are many more, the following are the 4 MAIN reasons why men are not in a hurry to get married: 1) they already receive all the benefits of marriage; 2) fear of the unknown and a lack of knowledge; 3) they are playing the “something better” game; and 4) women are not demanding a commitment.

First, men are not in a hurry to get married because they already receive the benefits of marriage. Too many women perform the duties of a wife for men they are not married to. Men receive sex along with cooking, cleaning, laundry and other services without having to make a marriage commitment.

Second, when it comes to marriage, men have a fear of the unknown and high anxiety due to a lack of knowledge. In today’s society wherein there is an overwhelming level of broken families and an underwhelming lack of father figures for boys as they grow into men, men are fearful over whether or not they will have a marriage that works. They also know, whether or not they will admit it and despite how well their mother’s claim they prepared them, that they don’t really have the knowledge a man needs to build and maintain a successful family.

Third, SOME men are dating a woman whom they refuse to marry in opposition to discussions initiated by the woman because she is not the woman he wants to marry. Although he likes the sex and enjoys the wifely benefits, he is playing the “something better” game. That is, he will remain with her until the type of woman wants comes along or the specific woman that he really wants is ready to be with him.

Fourth, men do not have to rush into marriage because women today do not demand a commitment. There are a plethora of reasons why women are reluctant to demand a commitment which I will address in a separate article. However, some don’t want the man to feel pressured, some want to be sure that they are truly loved by ensuring the marriage proposal is completely his idea and some women are themselves fearful of the unknown and have anxiety due to a lack of knowledge. Since many women do not appear ready to get married, men are not likely to propose a wedding.

Women who really want to marry must set a deadline for action. If they have already been together for a year or more, the woman should set a date certain for the man to propose. By that date the man must have made the proposal and planned a short wedding date. Otherwise, the woman must take her losses and move on. Life is short. Any time we spend with someone is time from our lives that once past we will never get back. Therefore, we should not waste our life with someone that does not really love us or place a high value on our life.

Dr Will is the author of “Relationships 911: Surviving Love’s Emergencies”


  1. what about the man who has been married before and doesn't want to commit himself on that level again because he doesn;t want to get hurt that deeply again?

  2. @TroyForLife... in these cases when the man is ready to face his fear or meets someone who he wants to be in love with and is worth the risk of getting hurt, he will dive back in again. Love is risky business and is not for those who have a fear of being hurt. Breaking up is painful because the person walks away with the part of our heart that we attached to their's. Therefore, it takes time to get over the pain, heal and for the heart to become whole again. Being in love and getting hurt is not much different than being pro boxer who got knocked out. A boxer has to first be healed of what ever injury he sustained, overcome his fear of being knocked out again and then climb back in the ring and try to win next time.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.