Monday, October 1, 2012

How to Avoid Bad Relationships

Organizations all over the nation take time in October each year to help women become aware of the dangers of domestic violence. They provide information to help women recognize when they have become a victim of domestic violence and the consequences of remaining in an abusive relationship on themselves and their children.

I take the time in October each year to try to share with women, and men who want to protect their daughters, the information they need to “identify” an abuser when they first meet them. The objective is to arm them with the knowledge they need to “avoid” getting involved with a domestic abuser.

Knowledge is power. If a person has the ability to recognize the enemy when they first encounter them, they can protect themselves from the enemy’s attack. If a woman does not get involved in a relationship with an abuser, he cannot abuse her and she won't become a victim.
One of the ways for a person to recognize when they are in an abusive relationship is if an unusual amount of control is present. It is natural for a couple to check-in with each other, to know each person is safe and to protect each other from worry or fear. It is unnatural for one person to try to control another person. Control is the compelling factor in domestic violence. Think of the word "control" (as it relates to domestic abuse) as a type of "possession".

Possession is evil. I can state without hesitation or equivocation that domestic abusers are demonically possessed. Being possessed compels a person to "do their father's will" and attempt to possess or control the person they claim to love. You will know domestic abusers are possessed by an evil entity once you recognize they have TWO personalities; one is very charming, loving and sweet and the other a monster. One is Dr Jekyll and the other Mr. Hyde.

Since a domestic abuser is possessed he or she is easy to identity when you FIRST meet them if you know what to look for. The entity that possesses one abuser is the same in all of them. Therefore, they all do and say the same things.  

Just like the FBI has developed a profile on serial killers, domestic abusers have a profile that makes them easy to identify also.

I love the work organizations do for women who are currently being abused. However, I believe it is better to help you to avoid becoming an abuse victim rather than teaching you how to recover from being abused. Knowing how to identify a domestic abuser when you first encounter them will arm you with the knowledge needed to avoid getting involved with one of them. Trying to escape the controlling clutches of a domestic abuser after you have gotten involved with one can be dangerous to your health and safety. Thus, during Domestic Violence Awareness Month I try to give women the knowledge they need to recognize and reject a domestic abuser when they first meet them.

Is it important to teach victims how to recognize when they are being abused, how to escape the abuser and how to recover? Yes, however, as a man, I would rather protect my mother, sisters, daughters and friends from being abused in the first place.

My audio book "How to Avoid Bad Relationships" shows both men and women how to identify domestic abusers and thus protect themselves as well as their daughters and girlfriends from being taken captive by an abuser.

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